THE DAD ZONE
Grizzly’s diary: This dog has summer licked
(Aug. 16, 2007, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette)
By Stephen Caldwell
These really are the dog days of summer. So, with apologies to Sirius, we turn to a real dog, although a star among our family, for some survival tips.
Grizzly, part chow, part Shar-Pei, spends her days mostly indoors or in our fenced-in backyard.
I’ve asked her to take us through a typical August day in hopes of learning some life lessons:
“It’s early and I’ve been sleeping on the big chair in the front room. Mom seems particularly frustrated lately with the chair. She keeps attacking it with the evil machine that makes the loud noise. She makes me get off during the day so that she can attack it, and now she’s been covering it with a blanket. I don’t know what the big chair is doing wrong.
“I’m awake because the guy with the yellow bag is walking toward our door. He never comes in. Never even knocks. I go to the window and bark a few times, then he drops the yellow bag and leaves. I used to bark and bark and bark, but now I just bark and he leaves. But he’ll be back tomorrow.
“The sun is coming up and so is Dad. I stretch and yawn and yawn and stretch, and he steps outside and gets the yellow bag. Sometimes he gives it to me, and I make sure that it’s dead. It never puts up much of a fight.
“I’m ready to go outside, but Dad has to make the dark liquid first. This takes a few minutes, and I’ve learned not to get too anxious. Still, I sit and look at him just to make sure he doesn’t forget me.
“Here he comes now. He’s got the big cup and the paper and a bowl, and we’re going out on the deck. Oh, I love going out. Oh, this is gonna be good. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go.
“We’re out!
“Oh, there’s the water bowl. That’s good. Ummm. Oh, there’s a bird. What’s that bird doing in our yard? I better go get him. I’m going to get him. I’m about to get him. Oh, he flew off.
“Wait, there’s a squirrel. I’ll get him.
“Wait, there are dogs on the other side of the fence. I better go bark at them. Oh, they better be glad there’s a fence.
“Well, I need to rest on the deck. Get some more water. Dad’s going inside. I’ll go inside and eat and rest.
“I’m back at the front window. I’ll stay here most of the day and let Mom and Lauren know if anyone’s coming. It’s not an easy job, but I like it.
“I go back outside from time to time. Mom must worry about the birds and the squirrels and such, but I don’t let them stay in our yard. I chase them off. And then I report back and tell Mom that they’re gone.
“I drink some more water and come back in the house. Usually I plop down on the spot on the floor that blows cool air. Oh, that’s a great spot. Or, if Mom’s not around, I get on the big chair in the front room.
“It’s late afternoon and someone’s coming. No need to bark. It’s Dad’s car. It’s Dad. Oh, I better get a toy for him. I’m off to get a toy. Oh, I’m glad he’s home. Oh, he’s in the door. He took my toy! He’s rubbing my head. I’m jumping up and down. It’s what I do.
“Dad’s spending time with the monster on the deck. The monster usually is calm and covered, but Dad takes off the cover and feeds it and it gets real hot. But sometimes stuff falls on the deck and I eat it. It’s what I do.
“If the birds and squirrels come around, I chase them off. Then I get some water. We go in and out, so it’s hard work. When we come in for good, I usually lay down on the cool hole until it’s time to eat.
“Later, I’ll probably chase the green ball for Mom. She never gets tired of playing that game. She throws it and I go get it for her. Then, if she’s good, I let her give me a cookie. It’s what I do.
“If someone comes over, I’ll alert the family. If it’s one of the two Andrews or Ashley or Kelsey or Becca, I’ll jump up and down and lick them so they know they’re welcome. If it’s someone I don’t know, I’ll bark and bark and bark until Mom or Dad or Lauren calms me down. It’s what I do.
“And tomorrow, I’ll do it all again.”
The lesson: Drink plenty of water. Stay inside where it’s cool. And love your friends and family.
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